August 27, 2007
Network Synergy––Jailbait Edition
It's nice to see that the network that airs the vigilante program "To Catch A Predator" appreciates both sides of a story when it comes to salaciously coveting scantily clad young teenage girls. NBC aired the Miss Teen USA pageant over the weekend, which basically was a two-hour ogling session of girls as young as 15 posing before cameras for America's titillation. NBC's Stone Phillips will show up at your house and make you want to kill yourself for wanting to have sex with these girls, but the network will happily sell ad time to corporations if you're willing to just fantasize about it.
Miss Teen USA is an all-class production, from the formal gown ceremony to the swimsuit competition. How could it not be top flight? It's presented by Donald Trump! If you'd like to be the next Miss Teen USA, but lack any discernable skills other than frustrating guys at your high school by dating someone much older, that's cool. "Performing talent is not a requirement."
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June 12, 2007
Heads Up For Today on TV & the Web
A new season of "Rescue Me" begins tonight on FX, as viewers are entreated to share in the ongoing travails of FDNY suicidal anti-hero Tommy Gavin, played by Denis Leary. When Tommy's not getting himself or a member of his crew nearly killed rescuing someone at the scene of a fire, he's killing himself gradually with the booze, or women, or complete strangers he goads into beating him senseless. Even when sober, Gavin is haunted by the ghosts of dead friends killed on 9/11, people he couldn't save, and even his own dead son, who was mowed down by a drunk driver when Tommy wasn't paying close enough attention. Sometimes even Jesus and Mary Magdalene drop in to say hello.
"Rescue Me" is one of the things I love about channels like FX, which air programs that could never conceivably be aired on regular network television. The show is raunchy, morose, and usually wickedly funny. Tommy Gavin is the ultimate anti-hero; you wish he could extricate himself from his self-defeating behavior, but at the same time he is so hateful towards himself and others, you kind of wish him the worst.
My favorite character in the show is Lou, Tommy's co-worker at their firehouse (and pictured above). Lou's hounddog visage and slumped shoulders bely the fact that he often gets the funniest lines of the entire show, and his character might be the only genuinely likable one of the lot. One of the people I work with at Gothamist recently got to interview John Scurti, the actor who plays Lou, and that piece will go up later today. I'll provide a link when it's ready. "Rescue Me" returns tonight on FX at 10pm. Here's the interview with actor John Scurti, who plays Lou. It's pretty great.
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April 12, 2007
IS CONAN MOONLIGHTING AT CBS? OR DOES HE HAVE A YOUNGER BROTHER?
New York's local CBS affiliate, WCBS, just got a new weatherman named Lonnie Quinn. According to the linked-to post, he's a former soap star. Is it me, though, or does Lonnie Quinn look like Conan O'Brien completely maxed out on Botox? Quinn was formerly a Miami weatherman after he left the soaps, so that might explain the tan/fake-tan factor.
I'd love to see the two of them in a room together. It's too bad they're not on the same network, or they could recreate that "I Love Lucy" scene from the episode where Lucille Ball and Harpo Marx do some mimed mirror schtick. In lieu of some old vaudeville though, I'd be content to watch Quinn and O'Brien duke it out in some old-school Irish bare-knuckle boxing. Or as we call it in the real world: a big 'ol sissy slap fight!
Tagged: cbs, conan, lucy, nbcPosted by Lexiphane at 10:59 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
March 22, 2007
CALVERT DEFOREST, RIP
It's the rare bit of comedy that holds its potency after a shelf life of 25 years. Topical turns to dated. Boundary-pushing turns to prosaic. Slapstick turns to childish. Even the acts of the most beloved comedy figures of the past 50 years find it difficult to muster more than an appreciative smile and a chuckle from me. This is especially so when the comedy originates from one's youth.
I started watching "Late Night With David Letterman" on NBC during the summer vacation between my 6th and 7th Grades. For some reason, my older brother and I would stay up late enough to catch Letterman turn the late-night format upside down. One of his recurring character/guests was an old vaudeville performer named Calvert DeForest, who went by the name Larry Bud Melman on Letterman and one of my most enduring memories is howling in laughter 'til it hurt at his bits on Letterman's show. One will have to watch the video above to get a sense of who DeForest was playing, or was. As an old vaudevillean, it's hard to believe that DeForest was not playing a character, or inhabitating it. Regardless, my brother sent me a link to the video above this morning and as I watched it I laughed as hard as did more than 20-odd years ago.
The New York Times has a nice autobiography for Calvert DeForest here. I can only, but strongly, disagree with its opening paragraph:
Calvert G. DeForest, the dweebish man who gained cult status on David Letterman’s late-night shows as the comic figure Larry (Bud) Melman precisely because he was not funny, died Monday in Babylon, Long Island. He was 85.
Calvert DeForest was funny; and the man and his act has weathered far better than most and will continue to do so for as long as I'm around.
Tagged: larry bud melman, late night, letterman, tvPosted by Lexiphane at 10:58 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 16, 2007
IRISH SUPERHERO IN TIME FOR ST. PADDY'S
The Times has a great article today on comedian Jim Gaffigan, the man behind the series of animated shorts "Pale Force" that are frequently featured on "Late Night with Conan O'Brien." "Pale Force" is about a crime fighting duo––Gaffigan and O'Brien––who strike down evildoers with blinding flashes of paleness, inherent to the pair's Irish heritage. If you've never seen an episode of "Pale Force", I highly recommend it.
Depspite his unrelentingly cruel portrayal of Conan O'Brien in "Pale Force", the Times reports that Gaffigan is an exceptionally nice guy. Interesting fact: after growing up in Indiana, Gaffigan graduated from Georgetown University in 1988 with a degree in Finance. I wouldn't have guessed that.
Tagged: comedian, conan, gaffigan, pale forcePosted by Lexiphane at 12:19 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 11, 2007
CANINE MORTO! NEXT ON THE OCHO!
I hate to do this. There are few things that would get me to bounce a once-in-a-generation Hoya championship off my marquis spot, but sometimes . . .
ESPN. What is wrong with you? Seriously, are your decision makers so removed from society up there in Bristol, CT that you have assumed the the moral sense of village idiots on vacation in Tijuana? That's not an academic question, although at this stage I understand the term "academic" may be far out of reach of whatever 7th-grade dropouts approve your ad copy.
During the March 10th broadcast of the Big East Conference Championship game, ESPN aired a commercial touting its coverage of some Arena Football league. The gist of it was--and this is paraphrasing--'Less Field Means More Intensity . . .' which would seem all well and good, except the ad had to finish its sentence––and more demure readers may want to shade their eyes––with one of the sickest similies I've read since NFL Quarterback Steve Young said "We're going to beat those Chargers like we beat San Fran faggots on our off days!" For the record, Steve Young never said anything remotely like that. But ESPN did finish its Arena Football ad thusly: "Less Field Means More Intensity--Like Two Pitbulls In A Cage!"
WHAT
THE
FUCK?
Did ESPN just pimp one of its broadcast league sports as having the competitive qualities of a barbaric bloodsport run by the most reprobate category of humans outside of slave traders and serial rapists? Yep! Yep, they did!
Pit or cage fights by animals has an unfortunately long history. It is gladiator fighting one species removed from humans, and yet it preys on participants bred to trust humans who nonetheless condition dogs to subject themselves to the most vile kinds of abuse. The lead photo is of a pitbull who apparently let the "ESPN-aired Arena Football-like" intensity get the best of him.
I like ESPN. I know people that work there and feel that it's a pretty decent organization, whatever its shortcomings might be. This particular broadcast ad, however, is so beyond the pale that I have to call them on it. Sick cruelty to animals is not a bullet point in a boardroom presentation; nor is it a pushbutton term to be inserted into an ad for an "extreme" sport (no matter how moronic that sport may or may not be.)
ESPN, please get your shit together. We love dogs. Most people do. Stop pimping their cruelty like it's something funny or extreme.
Giving ESPN the benefit of the doubt, it's possible that a local cable affiliate inserted that pro- animal cruelty ad into the Bristol feed. It didn't look like it, but I'm kind of hoping on it; otherwise it's like finding out your second cousin is a child molestor. Yuck!
UPDATE: Here is the exact transcript of the above-described ad:
[Voiceover] "If these walls could talk, they'd say less field means more fury, like two pitbulls locked in a cage. If these walls could talk, they'd say you have to see it to believe it. Russell Athletic ESPN Arena Football. Monday at 7 p.m. on ESPN2."
To read about the cruel practice of dogfights with pitbulls, see the ASPCA's page here. Pit Bulls On The Web has a page about the inhumane world of dogfights.
UPDATE II: Hear the audio portion of the offending ad by clicking here.
(Photo from Pit Bulls On The Web)
Tagged: ads, cruelty, dogs, espn, pitbullPosted by Lexiphane at 1:32 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
March 10, 2007
THIS NEW AMERICAN LIFE
Since 1995, Ira Glass has hosted "This American Life" from Chicago's WBEZ radio station and sustained the art of storytelling as an entertaining medium. The hour-long radio show usually features three to four stories based on a central theme and listening is one of the best ways to spend an hour during your entire week. "This American Life" is debuting in a televised format this month on Showtime. Check the show's page here and watch its introductory trailer. I wonder if adding a visual element will significantly change the impressions given by 'true stories from everyday people.'
For those unwilling or unable to tether themselves to a radio on the weekend, a podcast subscription is available to "This American Life" via iTunes or one can download episodes at the show's site here.
Posted by Lexiphane at 11:12 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
December 13, 2006
THOSE AREN'T THE VOICES IN YOUR HEAD
The other night I was watching an episode of CBS's "Criminal Minds" program. It's not a particularly good show as it pairs that lawyer guy from "Will & Grace" sorry, "Dharma & Greg" with Mandy Patinkin, who tends to annoy in whatever tv show he's in, whatever his talents. But I digress.
In the frenetic opening sequence of this particular episode, it became difficult to follow what was happening because there was a persistent semi-intelligible muttering accompanying the soundtrack.
I asked my Dad "Is there some type of reverb going on with your TV?"
"No, someone's talking under the show and it's been driving me crazy. I normally turn off shows when this happens."
I thought perhaps it was time to adjust my medication or something. When I was alone in the room in front of the tv, I got up real close to listen to the muttering. Interestingly, it was describing the physical actions of every character on the screen.
"[So-and-so] closes his eyes and turns away"
"His ex-wife steps closer"
Then it struck me: I was listening to closed captioning for the blind. Deaf people can see what's happening on screen and only miss the audible dialogue, so captioning writes it out so they can read it. Blind people can hear dialogue perfectly well, but lack the ability to see what's happening on screen. What I was hearing was a narrator describing stage directions. Fascinating! When the hell did this all start?
A few minutes of research yielded some answers. What we were hearing is called Descriptive Video Services (DVS). Let's go to the FAQs:
Descriptive Video Service (DVS) is a national service that makes television programs, feature films, home videos, and other visual media accessible to people who are blind or visually impaired. DVS is part of the Media Access Group at WGBH. DVS was launched nationally in 1990 by the WGBH Educational Foundation, producer of many prime-time public television programs and leader in the development of accessible media.
So how the hell did I wind up with DVS?
A viewer must live within range of a station that carries DVS and have a stereo TV or a stereo VCR that includes the Second Audio Program (SAP) feature, standard on most newer stereo televisions and videocassette recorders. Inexpensive receivers that convert TV sets to stereo with SAP also can be purchased. Viewers who subscribe to cable or satellite TV should ask the distributor to "pass through" stereo with SAP.
So the same way one can hit SAP to hear a program in a Spanish-language format, many programs utilize that secondary audio format to provide visual stage directions to blind viewers. I'm pretty sure the Hispanic market is larger than the visually impaired market, but kudos to broadcasters for trying to accomodate the audibly abled--and one would have to be audibly abled to catch the low-volume murmurings of DVS.
So we learn something new every day. Yesterday I could've assumed that closed-captioning for the deaf was a broadcast feature aimed at people who wanted to read SportsCenter shows on ESPN in bars while the jukebox blasted. Now I know that even blind people can trump Spanish-speakers when it comes to controlling SAP on everyone's tv sets.
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October 27, 2006
HERE'S TO EVERLASTING OPTIMISM
Just a few months before Linus Van Pelt takes the small screen to impart his heartfelt bible passage of the birth of Jesus with the three wise men, he tips his hat in more pagan directions. Tonight at 8pm, ABC airs the classic "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."
In this autumn classic, Linus foregoes trick-or-treating to wait in a pumpkin patch all night for the appearance of the "Great Pumpkin", who he believes will bring toys to all good boys and girls. He is kept company by his unwanted but adoring companion Sally. Charlie Brown of course goes out trick-or-treating in a ridiculous ghost costume.
"All I got was a bag of rocks. Rats."
Still, there's something to be said for Linus' unflagging optimism and belief in the unsubstantiated; i.e. it's hard to quantify love or faith or friendship. The only thing I wish was still included in the airing of this broadcast is that psychedelic rotating graphic that said "SPECIAL" accompanied with the stacatto drum soundtrack. I think it was CBS that used to use it to indicate regular programming was being interrupted for a holiday show and it always made me jump with excitement every few times a year it came on.
Whatever your weekend plans may be, may the Great Pumpkin bring you gifts.
Tagged:Posted by Lexiphane at 3:07 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
August 16, 2006
RECOMMENDED TV
This is going to sound stupid, but some cartoons are worth watching as adult entertainment (not porn, ya freaks!). It's interesting that the generations that grew up in the '70s and '80s refuses to let go of a medium originated for children. While shows like "The Simpsons" occasionally addressed political and social themes, the series is essentially tame. "South Park" is basically an animated political cartoon--funnier and grosser than anything you could find on an op-ed page. Then there are animated shows going back to their immature roots as pure entertainment, but with content that is extremely adult-oriented. One is "The Venture Brothers" on the Cartoon Network. It was introduced to me by someone who knows an illustrator for the network, and I won't apologize for liking it. It's on late at night and is not for kids; features a cast including a mad eccentric scientist and inventor Dr. Venture, an absurd villain named the Monarch (he's a butterfly-themed villain) with two hilarious henchmen, femme fatales, and an uberman hero called Brock Samson, who likes to shed his clothes to fully absorb the essence of the kill when he's rightfully avenging slights against the Venture family. Other characters include Phantom Limb, a villain who appears to be a floating torso and head due to the invibility of his arms and legs, Dr. Orpheus, who is a conjurer, seer, necromancer and all-around man of non-science, and the Venture brothers themselves Hank and Dean, who are so inconsequential the name of the show itself is a joke. It is one of the dumbest/smartest/most-hilarious cartoons I've ever seen.
NB: Unlike many fans of the cartoon-for-adults genre, I am not that big a fan of "The Family Guy." It's funny and I occasionally laugh out loud while watching it, but the creators of "South Park" pointed out a valid criticism: it's mostly a string of non sequitur asides completely irrelevant to the plot inserted to make up for the inanity of the storylines and uncreative illustration style. Now this is me critiquing: it's cartoon Dadaism--completely meaningless, created strictly to provoke visceral reactions from its audience (in this case "I can't believe they just said that!" humor), and will likely be largely forgotten or found insignificant in a generation's time. Yes, it's funny to see a little malevolent baby curse at his parents and try to kill people, but for the life of me I can't remember a single story line to any episode for "The Family Guy" except "You know, that one where Peter did a lot of stupid stuff, the rest of the family fulfilled their character stereotypes, property was wrecked, and there were a lot of pop-culture references." Buying "The Family Guy" on DVD would be like purchasing a tape of VH1's "Best Week Ever" or Jay Leno "Tonight Show" monologues for August.
Tagged:Posted by Lexiphane at 4:46 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 13, 2006
FOR THE RECORD, I'M AN A**HOLE
Last night, I got the chance to run into Daniel Baldwin on the street--of the Baldwin Bros. fame. He was singing the praises of one of my more beautiful friends--who am I kidding? they're all delightfully lovely--when I interrupted, asking "I'm really sorry, but can I just ask you to say 'It takes BRASS BALLS to sell real estate'"?
He was tremendously gracious, considering that it was his brother that was in Glengarry Glen Ross and not him, which he politely informed me. I replied "Oh! I know! But your brother's not here." That would have been the point to punch me in the face.
Also for the record, Daniel Baldwin is a superb actor, perhaps the standout of the clan. His work in the cop drama "Homicide" was seminal and perhaps responsible for the existence of the HBO show "The Wire." Mr. Baldwin: sorry for being an asshole.
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August 11, 2006
MUST SEE TV
If you live in the NYC metro area and have time in the morning, one of the best things to watch--as an alternative to the insipid "Today Show"--is NY1, which features a segment that shows up every half hour or so called "In The Papers".
"In The Papers" has NY1's anchor run through the days headlines and backpages of the city's multiple dailies, often holding up the article to the camera for first-hand viewing. The commentary is droll and frequently has the anchor trailing off to sarcastic silence, perhaps with a polite cough. It is hilarious and makes me want to kiss my tv. While John Stewart's "The Daily Show" is the news making fun of the news, "In The Papers" is hilarious because it is the news making fun of the news. It's meta-hilariousness on a sublime level.
UPDATE: To underscore how awesomely under-produced and ad hoc NY1 is, I just heard an exchange between the anchor and correspondent, in which the correspondent characterized airport baggage restrictions as "crazy" and the anchor responded by saying passengers should leave their "Super-Sized Big Gulps" at home.
Tagged:Posted by Lexiphane at 8:55 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 9, 2006
INNOCENCE & CORRUPTION
Every episode--from the first one on--of HBO's "Deadwood" this season appears to be coming to a head, and yet leaves viewers at a cliffhanger. That's good writing and story arcing. Watching an episode, one feels that one is going to finally see an explosion of violence, redemption, or nihlism, but one is always left saying "goddamnit", now I have to watch again next week.
Sunday's episode was a contrast of innocence and corruption and the easy slide between the two. Law and order justifies murder. Deadwood is a fine town where everyone defers to school children promenading down the street. Crapulousness segues seamlessly into upstanding behavior with the support of loved ones. And a lawless community takes a break from drinking and whoring to indulge themslves in an hour of amateur community theater.
Even antagonist-turned protagnost Al Swearengen (Ian McShane) takes a break from wiping down the bar of the Gem Saloon, to sing a solo Irish funeral dirge in the privacy of his own company. And then the screen fades to black.
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July 28, 2006
DEADWOOD MIGHT NOT BE FOR EVERYONE
The HBO series "Deadwood" is superlative tv in my mind. It has ruffled some feathers because of the excessively profane nature of its dialogue. The script is not blunt, however, rather featuring characters that speak in a ridiculously baroque and overmannered style, interspersed with aforementioned profanity.
Someone--Justin Schleigel--made a short film called "Deadwood Pancakes", parodying the show's dialogue. Here's a link to the film. Here's a transcription.
"Deadwood" Pancakes
Pancakes . . . BEFORE watching HBO's "Deadwood"[roommate stands in front of kitchen range with frying pan]
"Hey Schleigel! You want some pancakes?"
[man at table, cheerful]
"Oh yeah that'd be great! Can I get some butter and syrup?
[roommate, agreeably]
"You GOT it!"
Pancakes . . . AFTER HBO Series "Deadwood"
[roommate stands in front of kitchen range with frying pan]"Hey Schleigel! You want some pancakes?"
[man chewing furiously on toothpick at table]
"Well I hope within the confines of that most charitable fucking offer, you decide to provide me with the necessary peripherals and accompaniements that I might properly enjoy such a morning time fucking culinary work of fucking art, you stupid son of a bitch! Because if I am not provided with adequate peripherals to that morning time delight for both soul, body, and tatebuds, I shall smack you so fucking hard upside that stupid fucking gimp head of yours, as to knock your contact lens up in the front of your brain, providing you with the moment of fucking clarity in which you willl say out loud to yourself 'Why did I not provide this cocksucker with the syrup and or butter that he requested at the outset of this fucking breakfast endeavor?' You dumb son of a bitch!"
[roommate cheerfully]
"You GOT it! Cocksucker"
While this is a parody, it literally could have been lifted verbatim from one of "Deadwood"'s scripts.
Tagged:Posted by Lexiphane at 7:17 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 27, 2006
NOT SO LONG AGO . . .
Back in 1985, Don Johnson and Phillip Michael Thomas made a followup to the movie-length premiere of "Miami Vice", the tv show, in which they travelled to NYC to avenge the near-fatal shooting of their fellow cop Gina and capture some Colombian coke dealers.
The film ends with a shootout in the plaza of the WTC, with Crockett running over landfill that would eventually become the World Financial Center before he imporobably shoots a helicopter out of the sky with a 10mm caliber pistol.
"Miami Vice II: The Prodigal Son" stands out for a few reasons. Magician Penn Jillette is a cast member and gets murdered. NYC and lots of it. The Twin Towers are part of the climax. And some of the most ridiculous dialogue one has ever uttered onscreen.
In the penultimate scene, Crockett and Tubbs go to confront a cadaverous-looking financier, who is a ridiculous parody/stereotype of a nefarious Jewish Banker. While threatening the cops, he lays out his sinister plans. In honor of the release of the new Miami Vice movie, I will share that scene today, as I committed it to memory:
NB (nefarious banker): Money is a commodity, like oil or water. Those of us who have it, can make more of it, by loaning it to those who don't. And that American dollar is the best brand there is in the world.Not so long ago, we loaned A LOT of money to our friends in Latin America. We are talking about HUNDREDS of MILLIONS of dollars. Now, they AREN't going to repay that selling straw bags and clay pots.
If our Latin American friends default, we would be decimated. And we ARE America. We ARE the entire free world. When we sneeze [snap] the WHOLE WORLD catches cold.
That's why, it's VERY VERY important that we nurture and protect our Latin brother's MAJOR cash crops.
Tubbs [drumming his fingers]: Yeah, especially the ones he measures in kilos, right?
NB: Are you sure you wouldn't like a drink?
Crockett: What I want to know is when murder and mayhem became footnotes on a balance sheet? When did a Wall St. address start running interference for a pair of bloodthirsty Indians?! You're going down pal!
[Crockett either is demonstrating his stone deafness or his complete lack of intelligence. He just told you everything moron! Also, you just walked into the Chrysler Building; that's not a Wall St. address.]NB: I don't think that's going to happen.
Tubbs: Is that how it goes now? A few Ivy League buddies get to talking with a little buttoned-down conversation and before you know it, a pair of South Dade cops find themselves on the bad side of a bust with no backup?
NB: Look! All you need to know is that we're on a very big boat. Why rock it?
Crockett: "Look Pal! I don't give a damn if it's the USS Enterprise. It's our job to rock it! And if it sinks, so what!?
NB: The door's over there. You can show yourselves out.
Crockett: I know I can't touch you. Too many friends; too many politics. The one thing I do know pal, is you're dirty ace! And some day, I'll nail you.
That is so sad that I remember that. Please don't ask me to recite the script from Miller's Crossing. 'Cause I'll do it.
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July 26, 2006
"SORRY, I'VE GOT A DATE WITH A HOT PIECE OF GLASS"
That was my response to a woman who offered me a second drink the other night. What does it mean? It means that I've got a friend that moved into an apartment whose owner temporarily left his five-foot plasma screen tv with Bose sound system behind.
From atop her loft, Kendra said "Hey! I could watch TV from up here!" I answered "You could watch this bitch from across the street!" I currently watch a 20-year-old 15" piece of crap in my apartment. I don't know if I'm happy or tragically wounded to have been exposed to the state of the art.
James: you have a wonderfully delightful girlfriend, three well-behaved and awesome dogs, and a big house upstate. Leave the TV; take the cannoli. It would make one--this--man incredibly happy.
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June 28, 2006
WHAT TO WATCH (FOR THE NOT FAINT OF HEART)
900 channels and nothing's on. That's a cliched complaint because there is stuff on. Good stuff! Here are this week's two standouts:
Rescue Me (FX)
This show's gotten some heat recently [see the Gothamist.com piece with valuable links here] because its main character, Tommy Gavin, seemed to have raped his wife in an episode last week and also seemed to have appeared satisfied after doing it. Some people characterized this as misogynistic, although it appeared to me that it portrays Tommy in the worst possible light. Here's the comment I left at Gothamist.com:
Tommy Gavin is one of the most depraved/sympathetic protagonists on television. He is so personally corrupt and given to poor impulse control, it's almost a stretch to ID him as a protagonist. Are women portrayed as severely damaged people on the show? Sure, but only in equal measure to how the men are portrayed. Tommy's own brother had a smug smirk on his face as he was bedding Tommy's wife at the end of the last episode--and he seems to be the voice-of-reason character!
Rape is shown on tv all the time, i.e. every other Lifetime Channel movie. Putting it in the context of severely dysfunctional relationships without excusing it is called "drama for adults". I think Leary's and Tolan's efforts to tell their characters' stories without glossing over their sometimes abject ugliness makes "Rescue Me" one of the better shows on tv.
"Rescue Me" is a show about NYC firefighters who almost need to qualify for the job with pathological tendencies. It is disturbing, but it can also be hilarious at times. Leary and Tolan have put together one of the best shows I've seen in ages.
Deadwood (HBO)
I feel hesitant about recommending this show to newcomers because its plot is so labrynthine, it makes the Sopranos look like a Dick & Jane primary reader. I'll save some time by giving you an email I sent to my friend Jenny, who I spent enjoying the season with via long-distance phone calls:
Okay, I don't want to ruin the season for you, so I'm going to leave out any possible spoilers, but good God this is good stuff! I don't think I've ever watched a show with so many variagated plot lines. Hearst (Major Dad) is a total f'ing psychopath that verged on murdering Bullock and raping Mrs Ellsworth and is only interested in associating with people (like his black "Aunt" cook he can completely control), separately, Mr. Ellsworth's counsel to his wife is dead on but he's hampered by his impotence (and fear and unconcealable rage) in the face of Hearst's influence. Swearengen seemed to be playing possum after Hearst maimed him, until Trixie came and told him to get up some balls. Trixie seems like she should be happy, but is bucking at the non-confrontational nature of Sol Star. Farnum just seems to be descending into insanity after taking a beating from Bullock. And Cy Tolliver is completely emasculated after being shivved by the minister and is now bowing and
scraping before Hearst.God, what a great show. You have to get it on dvd as soon as it's out.
Don't get me started on Brian Cox's character. He seems fey, as being an actor seems to imply in dramas, but I bet he's going to turn out to be the most ruthless psychopath the town's ever seen. Trust me, I haven't even scratched the surface.
"Deadwood" started out its season very slow. The dialogue's tendency towards profanity bogged down in the most baroque diction I've ever heard on TV. Combining that with the incredibly complicated plot, and even I had trouble following the premiere episode this season. Recently, however, the pace has picked up, the dialogue has become less obscure, and the violence and tension are mounting. Ian McShane as Al Swearengen is a genius; and the writers have transformed him from an Old-West Mephistopheles to a Savior of the Deadwood camp against the predations of the dead-eyed uber-capitalist Mr. Hearst, who seeks to control all he surveys. Some may think "Deadwood" is overwrought (and overwritten), but I think it's completely compelling drama that deserves attention.
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June 26, 2006
FUNICULI' FUNICULAR!
One of the more-fun shows on tv these days is "Globe Trekker", that appears on NYCTV. There's a rotation of hosts that travel the world and do televised travelogues of exotic locations. My personal favorite is NYC resident Megan McCormick, who recently traveled to Hong Kong and did a show. This was a personal double threat for me, as I personally find Megan McCormick adorable and Hong Kong is my favorite city in the world after NYC.
One of the things she did was to take the funicular railroad up to Victoria's Peak. A funicular railroad is like a scale balanced on rails that relies on equilibrium to raise and lower people up and down precipitous slopes. Ascending and descending cars balance each other as they rise and lower. While the properties at the top of the hill afford some of the best views of the city, living at the top of the mountain has some serious costs. Constant mists ruin books and paintings, creating an environment too conducive for spreading mold.
So check out "Globe Trekker", it's a great show. Megan McCormick is its best and cutest host by far, and by God, she's a NYer. The Hong Kong episode and her visit to the New Territories brought back some great memories
Tagged:Posted by Lexiphane at 12:02 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 21, 2006
COME ON IRENE
I got an e-mail update today from former ZENtertainment (now unfortunately defunct) editor Sean Jordan noting that he will be on G4's "Attack of the Show" program Wednesday 6/21 (today) that will air live at 4pm PT (that's 7pm for us East Coast people). The topic will be reality TV and he will be appearing with the COO of the Fox Reality Channel and Irene McGee, former Seattle "Real World" housemate.
You remember Irene, right? She came down with Lyme Disease while on the show and was sucker-slapped by one of the male roommates as she was leaving the house. It was the low-ebb of reality television at the time and the point where The Real World stopped being real and just started being total crap.
Irene and I went to high school together, although two years younger, and she was a nice kid. She later joined me down in DC where we went to the same university before she joined the cast of "The Real World." She's currently a public speaker on the college circuit addressing the phenomena that is reality TV.
In Brooklyn and Queens, Time Warner Cable carries G4 on channel 105. You can find your own local listing here.
Tagged:Posted by Lexiphane at 2:08 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 29, 2006
TV "SCIENCE"
I recently saw a portion of a show called "Body Armor" on the Discovery Science Channel that examined the usefulness of modern body armor and its historical origins. In the first ten minutes, "Criminalist" Mary Jane Flowers (her parents were obviously hippies) of the San Diego Police Department examines the evidence in a shooting of a police officer where a bulletproof vest possibly saved his life.
I'm-guessing-not-Dr. Flowers holds the bullet she removed from the officer's vest up to the camera and compares it to an unfired 9mm round, explaining how the now-crushed bullet is maybe only 1/3 the size of what an original round looks like. Impressive! There's only one problem: that is fundamentally idiotic. Comparing the relative size of a crushed bullet and an unfired round is nonsensical in every sense of the word.
Here's a reasonable look at what modern rounds are and how they function. There are three main components: the bullet, the casing, and the rim. The bullet is the conical tip at the end of the round that exits a gun's barrel. The casing is the cylindrical part of the round in the middle that contains the propellant that propels the bullet to fantastic speed. The rim is the beveled end of the round that is struck by a gun's firing pin, activating the primer within and igniting the casing's propellant. Altogether, the bullet only accounts for about 40%-45% of an unfired round's profile. When a round is fired from a semi-automatic pistol--as was being discussed in the "Body Armor" show--the round's casing and rim are ejected as one piece through a side port while the bullet travels out of the barrel. You following me so far?
Comparing a crushed bullet to an unfired round, i.e. the bullet, casing, and rim all together, makes for a completely erroneous impression. It looks like the bullet has been compressed by body armor by two thirds, or 66%, but in reality the projectile has only flattened by about 20%. That's a mistake of presentation by a factor of more than three, or the difference between saying a baseball player hits .600 versus .200. This may seem like a totally ridiculous and unimportant thing to be writing about, but is representative of how the media--even scientifically identified shows--can badly misrepresent reality.
Tagged:Posted by Lexiphane at 10:10 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 22, 2006
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
(Ralph McDaniels, host of the awesome old-school NYC hiphop show "The Bridge")
Gothamist.com helpfully pointed out an article in The New York Times today profiling NYC TV, which is a municipally owned and operated channel. The Times is following my lead here as I was singing the channel's praises earlier this month [see NYCTV, 5/5/06]. From the Times:
For a first look at New York City's hottest bands, there is only one television station that taps into the underground music scene from the East Village to Williamsburg, Brooklyn.For access to the city's biggest social events, there is again one station that devotes countless hours to the red carpet premieres at the Tribeca Film Festival, the runway shows at Fashion Week and the summer concerts in Central Park.
That station is none other than the city's official television outlet, NYC TV. With an ever-growing roster of programs that delve into previously uncovered slivers of New York culture, this once-overlooked station, whose bread and butter used to be City Hall hearings, has soared in the ratings to 100,000 viewers for its most popular shows, and scored 14 New York Emmys.
So successful is the station's programming that its shows are starting to get picked up by television stations from East Hampton to Los Angeles, while Continental, Delta and South African airlines have featured its programs on their flights. Its signature theme, "Everything New York," even inspired a station in Seoul, South Korea, to reinvent itself as "Everything Seoul."
Is the channel in some sense shameless city boosterism? Well, yeah! And there are some city councilmembers who feel that it's been turned from an information resource to just a channel for tourists, to which I say "Good!" You know who watched publicly broadcast city council meetings? No one! Am I a NYC tourist? Yes, proudly so, and I've lived in the area for nearly a decade. The great thing about NYC is that if you're so inclined, one can be miles from your neighborhood and tip your cap to merchants or people you recognize or you can walk down the street you live on and walk into a store or business that's been around for 50 years and talk with someone you've never met before.
An old stereotype is the New Yorker who's lived in the city his whole life, but never visited the Statue of Liberty or Empire State Building, never mind the thousands of lesser-known attractions the city has to offer. NYC TV is all about making tourists of all of us. I think that's an incredible initiative and applaud Bloomberg and the channel for undertaking it.
A sampling of the shows available on NYC TV.
Tagged:Posted by Lexiphane at 11:40 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 8, 2006
SOLD!
Contrary to the ten-year-old popular consensus among his friends that the first time we'd see him on tv would be on "C.O.P.S.", Christopher Cihlar is doing the next best thing by appearing on "The Situation, with Tucker Carlson" on MSNBC. He'll be plugging his book The Grilled Cheese Madonna and 99 Other of the Weirdest, Wackiest, Most Famous eBay Auctions Ever tonight after your late local news.
For sale:
The state of West Virginia
Britney Spears’s Pregnancy Test
A Spare Kidney
Bob Dylan’s Childhood Home
The World’s Longest French Fry
Black Betsy
The Meaning of Life
There is only one place you can get all of these under one roof. In addition to being one of the world’s largest retailers, eBay is also home of some of the most notorious, creative, and just plain weird items to ever hit the virtual auction block.
This comic celebration of the spirit of free enterprise brings together the full stories of one hundred of the most hilarious eBay auctions ever. From the “Ghost in a Jar” auction that recorded more than a million page views, to the woman who auctioned off her virginity before eBay shut her page down, to the saintly grilled cheese sandwich said to portray the face of the Virgin Mary and contain special powers, to the man who modeled his ex-wife’s wedding dress, sold it for more than three times its original purchase price, and received several marriage proposals to boot, this book chronicles the listings that have made the site such an integral—and entertaining—part of our culture. The Grilled Cheese Madonna is a salute to capitalism in its most ridiculous form.
Chris estimates that he'll go on between 11:40 and 11:45, but I suggest tuning in beforehand just to make sure you don't miss it. The book goes on sale tomorrow so look for it or ask for it at your local bookseller or just go ahead and order a copy from Amazon.com. The author is a good friend, husband to a delightful wife, and a relatively new father. Go ahead, buy the book.
Tagged:Posted by Lexiphane at 12:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 5, 2006
NYCTV
I am not a fan of the concept of government sponsored programming, but I have to admit that lately I've become a huge fan of NYCTV--a channel aired on Time Warner Cable channel 25. The channel's a repository of fantastic NYC-oriented programming. My favorite is "Secrets of New York", hosted by experienced local producer Kelly Choi and featuring a weekly number of peeks into bits of local arcana that makes the city a great place to live. "$9.99" is a show devoted to discovering affordable day trips that can be had for under ten bucks. Hostess Julie Laipply is earnest to a fault, but cute as hell. Brian McMullan is frankly insufferably idiotic and I often skip the shows when he's the host, but it's still something to catch. "The Bridge" is a treasure trove; a show that airs nuggets from the golden age of hip hop. KRS-1, Nice & Smooth, Afrika Bambatta, and a youthful LL Cool J are like a tonic to those played out on modern rap pomposity. "Inside The Archives" is a peek into NYC's municipal archives, portraying the city's visual history to an audio background. These are just some of the shows that NYCTV has managed to produce. It's an airtime testament to the potential for public broadcasting and fun as hell to watch.
Tagged:Posted by Lexiphane at 3:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 1, 2006
DOWNTOWN BULLSHIT!
(Photo from projectrebirth.org)
Entertainers Penn & Teller devote the latest episode of their Showtime show "Bullshit!" to the fiasco that is going on--or what is not going on--at Ground Zero in Manhattan. It took minutes to bring the site to ruin, a year of 24-hours-a-day work to clear the wreckage, and four and a half years of political and financial bickering to leave Ground Zero a big hole in the ground.
It has been over four years since the worst terrorist attack on American soil and the only reminder is a big gaping hole in the middle of New York's financial district. Disgruntled family members of the victims want to memorialize the fallen, big corporations want to get back to business, local residents remain concerned over the health risks of living and working nearby, and politicians blather on, afraid of making politically incorrect moves. Everyone it seems is angling for a piece of the multi-billion dollar federal government pie to rebuild the site. BULLSHIT! takes on the fight for Ground Zero from street level to New York's towers of power.
A major roadblock to progress has recently been removed, with developer Larry Silverstein ceding control of reconstruction to the NY/NJ Port Authority last week.
Tagged:Posted by Lexiphane at 11:43 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 23, 2006
SOUTHPARK ON STEROIDS
The New York Times has a review of the book Game of Shadows by Mark Fainaru-Wadu that examines the steroids scandal that tainted Barry Bonds' performance over the past several seasons.
"Game of Shadows" grew out of that groundbreaking reporting and is based on interviews with more than 200 people and hundreds of pages of documents, including the secret grand jury testimony of Mr. Bonds, Jason Giambi, Gary Sheffield and the track star Tim Montgomery; confidential memorandums detailing federal agents' interviews with some of the principal players in the case; and unredacted versions of affidavits filed by the Balco investigators.
When an excerpt from the book dealing with Mr. Bonds appeared in Sports Illustrated two weeks ago, it created a furor, renewing the outrage over steroid use in baseball that had flared a year ago after the publication of Jose Canseco's sensational book, "Juiced." This time, there were calls for more Congressional hearings and demands that Bud Selig, commissioner of Major League Baseball, appoint an independent investigator to look into allegations made in "Game of Shadows" — in particular allegations about Mr. Bonds, who holds the single season home-run record (73) and who, with a career home-run total of 708, is closing in on the sacred numbers of Babe Ruth (714) and Hank Aaron (755).
There are a few salient points I'd like to bring up about this story. First is that steroid use was not against the rules in Major League Baseball when these offenses were allegedly committed. If anything, the possibly steroid-fueled home run race between Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa a few years ago was probably to the great benefit of MLB in the disastrous post-strike years, drawing fans back to the game. Second is that there is a difference between "the rules" and sportsmanship. If one is hiding or embarrassed to admit one's training methods, one is probably cheating in the sportsmanship sense of the word. Third is the absolute ridiculousness of Congress deeming itself responsible for micromanaging the rules and regulations of Major League Baseball, not to mention holding hearings on that topic. A lot of people felt Mark McGuire embarrassed himself before a committee. I felt that Congress was embarrassing itself even addressing the matter.
South Park had an episode about steroid use in the Special Olympics. One of the contestants summed everything up pretty succinctly:
Oh my God. You, you're right, Timmy. You're totally right. [walks up to the mic and begins talking] Everyone, can I have your attention, please? [everyone falls silent] I'm afraid I have to give back my medal. The truth is, I haven't been playing fair either. I've been using st-steroids. I was willing to do anything to be the best, and the steroids made me blind to the people I was hurting. [a shot of Nancy, injured and taped around the head. She smiles] A good friend even tried to talk me out of it, and I wouldn't listen to him. [a shot of Timmy, who smiles and shows off his silver medal. Others around him wear bronzes.] Taking steroids is just like pretending to be handicapped at the Special Olympics. [a shot of a chastened Cartman before the baseball players] Because you're taking all the fairness out of the game. But I know now that even if you do win on steroids, you're really not a winner. You're just a p-pussy. You're just a [shot of Mark McGuire] big fat p-p...p...pussy, and if you take steroids, the only decent thing to do is come forward and say, [shot of Barry Bonds] "Remove me from the record books, because I am a big, stinky p-pussy-" [shot of Jason Giambi] "-steroid-taking jackass." [Giambi nods ever so subtly] That's how I feel about myself, and why I must decline this medal and my place in the history books. And if you'll let me, I'll be back next year. To compete with honor.
To Giambi's credit (although I'm not accusing him of steroid use in past seasons, ahem!), he took some time off from the game and returned to the Yankees to perform very well in a more slimmed-down state. The Times has a separate article details the allegations of Yankees Jason Giambi and Gary Sheffield in the book.
Tagged:Posted by Lexiphane at 12:58 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 21, 2006
CATCH A THIEF?
The FX Network has presented some absolutely outstanding dramas over the past few years. I'm a big fan of the Dennis Leary vehicle Rescue Me, which is a brilliant mix of comedy and pathos following the work and lives of NYC firefighters. While I haven't been watching The Shield, I've heard good things about it from people I respect and it's apparently good enough to attract character performances from actors like Glenn Close. The Donnie Wahlberg-starring show Boomtown was unfortunately canceled after only one season.
March 28 marks the debut of a new series on FX called Thief that seems to follow the channel's pattern of interweaving the personal and professional lives of people in unusual occupations. In this particular case the occupation is a gang of heisters. I'm going to give this show particular attention because it stars Andre Braugher.
Since Braugher absolutely inhabited the role of Det. Frank Pembleton in the defunct NBC series Homicide, I've marveled at the paucity of televised roles he's received. I hope that the recent launch of Sleuth TV, which airs repeats of Homicide daily, will wake up casting agents to the latent acting treasure available in Braugher. His presence alone should make watching Thief a worthwhile event.
Tagged:Posted by Lexiphane at 2:08 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 12, 2006
TIME TO HIT THE HIGH NOTES
HBO's series "The Sopranos" is rarely disappointing in its content, but consistently disappointing with the the multi-year hiatuses it takes beween "seasons." It seems hard to believe, but the series returns to HBO with a new episode this evening. For those who watch the show and have vague and foggy memories of the end of the last season, it concluded with Christopher Molitsanti's near-self-murderous meltdown before he drew back from the edge and adhered himself to crime boss Tony by having his fiancee executed pathetically on a forest floor covered with leaves. Tensions between the NJ family led by Tony Soprano and the on-the-make Johnny Sacramoni are so thick that the last season ended with the fuse one inch away from a virtual keg of TNT.
Tom Shales, TV critic for The Washington Post, has good things to say about the beginning of the new season.
So eagerly awaited that the term "eagerly awaited" is a ridiculous understatement, "The Sopranos" begins its sixth and reportedly final full season tonight on HBO, and advance viewing of the first four installments suggests that television's greatest drama series has only gotten greater.Twice within those first four new episodes, Tony the clan patriarch and godfather asks: "Who am I? Where am I going?" The questions are elemental, even kind of corny, but millions of viewers will be on the edges of their couches, breathlessly following Tony on his quest for the answers.
Tony's journey, which will occupy 12 weekly episodes this year and an additional eight starting in January, already has been one of the most rewarding and enthralling in the history of the medium. But wait, it gets better. Or, in terms of putting a viewer through the proverbial emotional wringer, it gets worse. It might even call for some newly minted accolades, because it truly is a television landmark that leaves lots of other landmarks in the dust.
A page is available with a recap of Season 5 scenes and a preview trailer of Season 6 are located here. The infurating dilatory production nature of the show notwithstanding, it's hard to imagine not getting sucked back in. The Season 6 premiere airs tonight at 9 p.m. ET.
Tagged:Posted by Lexiphane at 12:40 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 15, 2006
RED HEADED STEP-AMBASSADOR
In one of the more odd events of international relations recently, Conan O'Brien was just received by the President of Finland, Tarja Halonen, in Helsinki. The first female president of that country wanted to thank him for campaigning on her behalf, something O'Brien did because of their somewhat tenuous resemblance to each other. Thank goodness someone is keeping up the role of genuine goodwill ambassador, when most of our emmissaries prefer to go abroad and badmouth the U.S. (e.g. Gore in Saudi Arabia, Harry Belafonte in Cuba, Clinton nearly everywhere). It's a good thing Jay Leno wasn't the host of The Tonight Show in the 1930's, because he may have attempted the same thing with Mussolini because of their similar prominent chins (Benito's being more a jutting act). That would've turned out horribly.
Tagged:Posted by Lexiphane at 2:30 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
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