June 12, 2007
Just a Few Thoughts on Paris
Paris Hilton, savvy self-promoter and beautiful heiress. I have a friend who went to high school with her (well, before Paris became a dropout) and have been told the dumb blonde role is no act, except for the blonde part. The young woman freaked out her first days in jail, so they let her out. In The Shawshank Redemption, one of the guards beats "a fresh fish" to death for wailing away his first night in prison. Why'd that guard's California counterpart get the night off when Paris reported to jail? A reader wrote in with this Hilton quote regarding her brief jailing:
”I was severely depressed and felt as if I was in a cage,”Wow, she caught on quick didn't she? Kiddo, you are in a cage. It's called jail. She wound up freaking out so much that she was released after three days with a note from her doctor. Now, I thought a note from your doctor was enough to get you out of gym class. Who knew that its power extended all the way to the Califorinia prison system? Can I use a note from my doctor to get out of paying taxes as well?
The medical emergency that Paris Hilton was experiencing was that she wasn't taking her medication (cocaine?) and that she hadn't eaten anything since entering jail. Well, I'm a born skeptic but I suspect there have been many periods when Hilton's gone a lot longer than that without eating.The supposed reason that Paris wasn't eating is that she was paranoid that someone would snap a quick picture of her while she was going to the bathroom. Hmm, I estimate about a billion people around the world have seen a full-length video of Hilton with a penis in her mouth; also, she basically pioneered the celebrity cooch-flashing shot. I doubt a blurry picture of her on a stainless steel toilet snapped with some guard's camera phone would even warrant a $50 bounty from Star Magazine.
I am utterly agnostic on the phenomena that is Paris Hilton. Is she getting treated a little more strictly than the average person caught in the same circumstances? Probably. But then again, by an accident of birth she found beauty, unfathomable wealth, and essentially the entire world handed to her on a silver platter, so "unfair" might be a word she should strike from her already limited vocabulary. And those are my few thoughts on Paris Hilton. Her sister's more my type anyway.
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Posted by Lexiphane at June 12, 2007 7:14 PM
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