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December 31, 2003
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Yet another year has gone by here at Lexiphane.com and I
continue to appreciate the patronage of all visitors, new and old. I
hope you're enjoying the redesign of the site, which was instituted in
mid-March by my tech guru Tom. Thanks Tommy! In the little over two
years I've been writing for the site, I've reached 218 pages of text in
size 10, Times New Roman, MS Word type. That adds up to:
- Approximately 156,000 words
- And nearly 12,000 lines
Since the move to the PHP-formatted site you see before you in March,
I've posted 414 different items, or almost 1.5 a day. I'll try to step
that up for you in the coming year.
Speaking of the coming year, it should be a good one. I recently
learned my close college friend Meg will be getting married to her
fianc? "Tex" and my equal friend--and Meg's former roommate--E will be
having a child. Good luck to both of them. May everyone have a safe,
happy, and healthy New Year. Tagged:
Posted by Lexiphane at 4:08 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 30, 2003
WHACK-AN-A-HOLE
The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports that a Wisconsin Chuck E.
Cheese restaurant--location of millions of children's birthday parties-
-has accrued
href="http://www.jsonline.com/news/wauk/dec03/195498.asp"> more than 40
visits by the police this year. My theory: the
href="http://www.us.imdb.com/title/tt0070909/">Westworld
effect. Adult attendees viewing the animatronic Chuck E. Cheese jam
band, are lulled into the belief that they are in a completely
synthetic world where they can punch people out, smash bottles over
other's heads, and gun fellow partygoers down with no negative
repercussions. I think Chuck E. Cheese should add a Yul Brynner robot
playing the ukulele to his line up, just to give these people pause.
[Story via ObscureStore.]
Posted by Lexiphane at 8:27 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 29, 2003
WHAM BAM
src="http://www.lexiphane.com/mt/archives/Bam_citadel.jpg" width="300"
height="180" />
The Washington Post reports today from the
href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A36948-
2003Dec28.html">terrible tragedy in the Iranian city of Bam. Its
historically significant ancient Citadel was destroyed, but that site's
been unoccupied for years. More tragic was the estimated death of
40,000 Iranians in occupied Bam. Sadly, poorer countries often suffer
disproportionately from natural disasters such as earthquakes because
their housing stock is relatively flimsy. Oddly, one Iranian couldn't
summon too much sympathy for the thousands of dead, even as he dug
their bodies out of the rubble:
Sardari, his eyes bloodshot, pointed to a domedTagged:
structure that remained standing in the same compound. "Nobody stayed
in those rooms, and they are still there," he said. "God was willing to
kill people."
"I don't know what the people have done," he added, after a thoughtful
pause. "They were bad, I suppose." Then he slapped his hands together
and let out a kind of cackle that brushed aside his effort to make
sense of it.
Posted by Lexiphane at 12:56 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 26, 2003
THANKSGIVING FLASHBACK AND CHRISTMAS PHOTOS
Yesterday I retrieved some pictures left on a laptop upstate from
Thanksgiving 2003. Most are of
href="http://www.lexiphane.com/lex/modules.php?set_albumName=album02&op
=modload&name=gallery&file=index&include=view_album.php&page=4">Thanksg
iving, but there are a few
href="http://www.lexiphane.com/lex/modules.php?set_albumName=album02&op
=modload&name=gallery&file=index&include=view_album.php&page=7">Christm
as ones towards the end, including some short video clips of my
nephew busting a few dance moves [Windows Media files.] In addition to
my family's celebration, there are a few pictures of the Thanksgiving
feast at the
href="http://www.lexiphane.com/lex/modules.php?set_albumName=album02&op
=modload&name=gallery&file=index&include=view_album.php&page=7">Gordon
household, something I try to attend every year.
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NFL: NATIONAL FIREARMS LEAGUE
The New York Times has a
href="http://www.nytimes.com/2003/12/26/sports/football/26GUNS.html?pag
ewanted=1">lengthy article today looking at the high percentage of
professional football players who own guns. Estimates of those thought
to own guns while playing in the NFL range from 50% to 90%. The
Times seems to think this is a highly negative development,
disapproving of players' desire as wealthy public figures to protect
themselves from aggressive and often-confrontational fans. What is
striking about the article is that despite the wide proliferation of
weapons among players, lax stadium security, and veiled insinuations
about the character integrity of NFL personnel, The Times could
produce no actual instance where guns were used in the commission of a
violent crime by an NFL player, other than unsubstantiated charges of
brandishing that may or may not have factual basis. The most prominent
player-related incident described, in fact, involves the unfortunately
named T.J. Slaughter, who was accused of brandishing a handgun at two
men on a freeway. Slaughter denies the charge of brandishing, and
actually claims that he was defending himself from a potential
carjacking incident. As opposed to the lack of evidence of criminality
by gun-toting players, the article does describe why many players feel
there is a legitimate need to defend themselves:
"People don't realize how many aggressive fans there
are," Huyghue, the player agent, said. "There are a lot of people out
there who want to make a name for themselves by taking on a football
player. In my opinion, those types of confrontations have increased in
number and intensity."
Will Allen, a Giants cornerback, was returning home two years ago when
three armed men assaulted him, doused him with gasoline and threatened
to set him afire if he did not hand over his jewelry, which was worth
more than $100,000, according to the police. He did.
Slaughter, the former Jacksonville linebacker, said his belief that he
needs a gun for protection was reinforced in November 2001, when Danny
Clark, a close friend of Slaughter's who plays for the Jaguars, was
assaulted as he left a restaurant in Jacksonville, Fla.
Clark, who was on crutches because of a football injury, told the
police that as he neared his luxury sports utility vehicle, a man
approached, pointed a large handgun in his face and demanded his car
keys. Clark handed them over and the man stole the vehicle, the police
said.
"To watch your friend go through the aftereffects of getting robbed,
that had an impact on me," Slaughter said. "At that point, I began to
think it wasn't a question of if some guy was going to come after me or
another teammate, but when."
What is most glaringly obvious to anyone that reads the article
is what The New York Times pointedly avoids printing, which is
that they feel horrified that black men--as most NFL players are--are
walking around with guns. Instead the article employs some euphemisms
to communicate the point. "Athletes" have volatile tempers with poor
impulse control and concerns about drugs and alcohol use are raised.
It is noted that many NFL players also insist on owning expensive cars
and clothing. If The Times was a little more honest it should
have just titled the article "Uppity Coked-Up Negroes Arming
Themselves, Prepare to Defend Your Women." Tagged:
Posted by Lexiphane at 11:13 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 24, 2003
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Save for the Jewish friends out there, everybody loves Christmas. The
ultimate Christmas movie is
href="http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0821041/">A Christmas Movie,
maybe following A
Christmas Carol. My personal favorite is
href="http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0039190/">The Bishop's Wife,
but that's just 'cause I'm a sucker for Cary Grant. Speaking of
movies, and stars, regards to
href="http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0821041/">Robert Stack,
href="http://www.us.imdb.com/name/nm0000031/">Katherine Heburn,
and Gregory
Peck, and all the other screen legends that left us this year.
That, and my grandfather. I'll always look for the Tootsie Rolls the
leprechauns left in the yard.
Posted by Lexiphane at 1:32 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 23, 2003
COALS TO NEWCASTLE
Ben Affleck is
bragging about replacing a reference to the 1986 World Champion New
York Mets in his latest movie, with one that mentions his beloved
Boston Red Sox. The context is one where his character is weeping for
hours, so it makes sense. Affleck's new movie,
href="http://www.us.imdb.com/title/tt0338337/">Paycheck, is
rumored to be a gigantic embarrassment to Paramount and Dreamworks,
lengthening the Red Sox association with a tradition of losing losing
losing.
Posted by Lexiphane at 4:33 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
HAPPY FESTIVUS!
And at the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and you tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year.Don't forget the feats of strength while gathered around your aluminum pole in this very Festivus season. Tagged:
Posted by Lexiphane at 11:26 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
LAST MEAL
"Is the Italian food good here?
Yeah, try the veal; it's the best in the city."
In a city full of restaurants where it's hard to get a table,
the absolute hardest reservation in town to acquire is at Rao's. The
uptown Italian spot does one seating a night and your best bet at
grabbing a reservation is if one of the regulars drops dead. Last
night, "old-time Mobster" Louis Barone vacated one of Rao's spots by
href="http://www.nypost.com/news/regionalnews/14245.htm">shooting
another customer to death in full view of the tiny restaurant's
clientele. He and his dining companion were collared by an off-duty
cop who happened to be eating there. The above quote is, of course,
from the scene where Michael Corleone kills Sgt. McCluskey and Sollozzo
in The
Godfather.
Posted by Lexiphane at 9:59 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
OBLIGATORY CHRISTMAS NERD POST
The New York Times tackles the beauty of nature with a cold eye
today in its article discussing the
href="http://www.nytimes.com/2003/12/23/science/23SNOW.html?pagewanted=
1&8hpib">physics of the snowflake. Here's
href="http://www.lexiphane.com/lex/modules.php?set_albumName=album03&id
=IMG_0184&op=modload&name=gallery&file=index&include=view_photo.php">Gr
and Central Terminal being bombarded with hexagonal crystallized
H2O particles.
Posted by Lexiphane at 9:36 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 22, 2003
WHO WOULDN'T LOVE A PONY?
The New York Post hilariously notes that Nicolas Cage realized
every little girl's dream on his 40th birthday when he
href="http://www.nypost.com/gossip/4665.htm">received a pony as a
gift. The all-time greatest pony moment is the Seinfeld episode
where Jerry mistakenly insults his great aunt Manya by mocking pony
owners and then tries to backtrack:
Tagged:
I didn't know she had a pony. How was I to know she had a pony? Who
figures an immigrant's going to have a pony? Do you know what the odds
are on that? I mean, in all the pictures I saw of immigrants on boats
coming into New York harbor, I never saw one of them sitting on a pony.
Why would anybody come here if they had a pony? Who leaves a country
packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country? It doesn't make
sense.. am I wrong?
Posted by Lexiphane at 4:47 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
SO A GUY IN RED WALKS INTO A BAR
Christmas is coming! Christmas is coming! Why
href="http://www.lexiphane.com/lex/modules.php?set_albumName=album03&id
=img_0328&op=modload&name=gallery&file=index&include=view_photo.php">do
es Santa smell funny?
Posted by Lexiphane at 3:38 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
OPEN LETTER TO TERRORISTS
The Dept. of Homeland Security has raised the terrorist
href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A19938-
2003Dec21.html">threat level to Orange this weekend, citing
intelligence that the likelihood of multiple catastrophic terrorist
attacks is the highest since 9/11. To which I say to terrorists: your
timing might be counterproductive. While it might seem that western
religions lack most of the "joie de fever" of radical Islam,
it's actually just been channeled into the secular trappings of our
winter holidays. It's been a long time since we've flagellated
ourselves bloody for our faith, but I pity the poor clerk who stands
between fifty crazed parents and the last BRATZ doll at Wal-Mart on
December 24th. I also would pity any terrorist with the gumption to
stand up and tell 200 holiday air travelers that their flight has been
diverted to hell instead of Laguardia. They'd be lining up for the
privilege of being the first to gouge out his eyes with their piece-of-
shit plastic sporks they've been forced to use instead of metal
utensils since Atta and company kick-started this entire thing two
years ago. Chances are that most Americans have spent the last few
weeks charging through the retail scrum at the local shopping mall,
wrapping, decorating, spending, booking flights, drinking and eating
enough at holiday parties so that new plus-size pants are in order, all
while maintaining uniform holiday cheer in the face of any indignity.
After all that, I think most Americans would be more
href="http://www.us.imdb.com/title/tt0095016/maindetails">John McClane
at the Nakatomi Plaza than passive victims when faced with a
terrorist threat around the holidays. Just so you know: Yipee-Ki-Yay,
motherfuckers.
Posted by Lexiphane at 3:31 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
BUNSEN BURNER
Whoever said you can't go home again obviously was not apprised of the
ingenuity of Orville and Wilbur Wright--recently celebrating the 100th
anniversary of their first flight. West coast exile,
href="http://www.bunsen.tv/2003_12_01_bunsen_archive.html#1072078242211
14465">Bunsen, fled his pleasure compound in California recently to
make like the prodigal son in NYC--except fatted calves are now
referred to as "this round's on me" and no one's actually happy
he's back. Since he's been slumming in Somorrah Gardens for so long,
he probably doesn't know GAWKER
editor Elizabeth Spiers has since moved to New York Mag's
href="http://thekicker.nymetro.com/">The Kicker. Nobody tell him
until he's drunk and making out with the new editor Choire Sicha.
Who's a man. And gay.
So, Mayor Mike, I'm not going to worry. I'm going toTagged:
shop. I'm going to smile when a National Guardsman paws my goodies in
Grand Central on my way to Times Square, where I'm going to stand in a
crowd of a million of my closest friends, all of us trying to get the
first drop of booze-saturated 2004 urine to hit the freezing asphalt at
precisely the moment the ball rings in the New Year.
Posted by Lexiphane at 10:18 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 21, 2003
A GAY OL' TIME
I went to my friend Suzie's
href="http://www.lexiphane.com/lex/modules.php?set_albumName=Suzie-s-
Holiday-
Party&op=modload&name=gallery&file=index&include=view_album.php">holida
y party last night. Ross--schoolmate of "Queer Eye" fame--was
there. His jacket costs more than my bank account on its best day.
Separately, I retain my dignity. By the way, Suzie retains her title
as the hostess with the mostest.
Posted by Lexiphane at 12:35 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 19, 2003
NEW YORK BOTANICAL GARDEN
My parents, sister, nephew, and I went to the New York Botanical
Gardens in the Bronx this evening to see the annual Christmas
installation of
href="http://www.lexiphane.com/lex/modules.php?set_albumName=NY-
Botanical-
Gardens&op=modload&name=gallery&file=index&include=view_album.php">mode
l trains and miniature architecture rendered in organic materials.
It really is an incredible display. As model trains chug around the
greenhouse, one can examine up close NYC landmarks like City Hall,
Rockefeller Center, The Metropolitan Museum, and countless other
buildings--all made from bark, seeds, shells, and other natural
materials. The level of detail is very impressive. The Holiday Train
Show will continue through January 4th and is open daily from 10 a.m.
to 7 p.m., except for the 24th when it closes at 3 p.m. and the 25th
when it is closed. Admission is $11.
href="http://www.nybg.org">The New York Botanical Garden.
Posted by Lexiphane at 10:43 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
HARD TIME
The Justice Dept. has released the
href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A13521-
2003Dec18.html">results of an investigation into prisoner treatment
in the months following the 9/11 attacks and they are not pretty.
Investigators found that detainees were physically mistreated--often
slammed into walls or having their arms twisted--by prison guards.
Meetings between prisoners and their lawyers were also video and
audiotaped, a violation of federal rules. The investigation was
significantly impeded by claims that taped evidence of the abuse had
been destroyed, which was not true. The months immediately following
the terrorist attacks against the U.S. were emotionally loaded,
especially as the pile in downtown Manhattan continued to burn, but
this type of behavior was completely uncalled for. Punishment is being
meted out to culpable guards and I hope it's appropriately severe.
Taking out one's frustrations by brutalizing detainees who had not even
been charged with crimes does not meet the standards of the American
justice system.
Posted by Lexiphane at 10:13 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
NAME GAME
A New York federal appeals court has ruled that Abdullah al-Muhajir
href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A13521-
2003Dec18.html">must be released from military custody and charged
formally in a criminal court. The so-called dirty bomber is almost
universally identified in the press as Jose Padilla. Why? When
Muhammad Ali converted to Islam, critics would taunt him by continuing
to call him Cassius Clay. Is that what the media is trying to do here?
Posted by Lexiphane at 9:25 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 18, 2003
RED STRIPES
Folks worried about the gentification of the Lower East Side and the
East Village should take heart from the moron that defaced my friend
Anthony's car last night. 5 minutes of parking =
href="http://www.lexiphane.com/lex/modules.php?set_albumName=album03&id
=img_0279&op=modload&name=gallery&file=index&include=view_photo.php">pa
intjob defacement on East 6th. He didn't seem
href="http://www.lexiphane.com/lex/modules.php?set_albumName=album03&id
=img_0280&op=modload&name=gallery&file=index&include=view_photo.php">to
o upset, though.
Posted by Lexiphane at 10:13 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
PLEASE CHECK GUNS AND HARMONICAS AT THE DOOR
John Popper was in the house last night looking trim(mer) and clean
shaven at a friend's
href="http://www.lexiphane.com/lex/modules.php?set_albumName=album03&id
=img_0267&op=modload&name=gallery&file=index&include=view_photo.php">Ch
ristmas party for Blues Traveler and their crew. I was out of
there early so I don't know if there was any rock-and-roll hedonism,
but the way
href="http://www.lexiphane.com/lex/modules.php?set_albumName=album03&id
=img_0264&op=modload&name=gallery&file=index&include=view_photo.php">th
ose twins were hitting the Buffalo Wings it looked like the party
was heating up.
Posted by Lexiphane at 9:51 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
PLANE TO THE TRAIN II
The New York Sun put the new AirTrain to the test
yesterday by pitting it against a yellow taxi in a race from Penn
Station to JFK. The winner: the AirTrain in a cinch. The taxi, which
got stuck in traffic on the FDR, took 95 minutes and cost $40 plus tip.
The AirTrain took only 50 minutes and cost $9.75, including the price
of a LIRR ticket to the Jamaica hub. Kudos to the Sun for putting up a
comparison, but this is kind of a sucker's bet. A better one would
have been to compare already available rail travel, like the subway, to
the new AirTrain route. Or how about the shuttle bus that leaves
Pershing Square regularly at 42nd and Park Ave.? Gothamist brought up
the
href="http://www.gothamist.com/archives/2003/12/17/air_train_up_and_run
ning.php">relative merits of different modes of transportation
yesterday and her readers are chiming in in the
href="http://www.gothamist.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/6180
">Comments section. We visited
href="http://www.lexiphane.com/lex/modules.php?name=News&file=article&s
id=402&mode=&order=0&thold=0">this topic yesterday.
Posted by Lexiphane at 9:25 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 17, 2003
DO FENCE ME IN
The New York Sun
href="http://daily.nysun.com/Repository/getFiles.asp?Style=OliveXLib:Ar
ticleToMail&Type=text/html&Path=NYS/2003/12/17&ID=Ar00104">reports
today that Donna and Marvin Schwartz of the Upper West Side donated
$2 million to the Central Park Conservancy in order to replace the sad-
ass looking chain link fence that surrounded the Reservoir with a
spiffy looking faithful replica of the original iron fence that
bordered the body of water until 1926, when NYC apparently went
straight to seed.
"Our philosophy is, if you're able to do it, and you
want to do it, you can make a difference. We get such pleasure out of
the park. We live near the park and we have a view of the
park. It's a pleasure to be able to do something for the
park," Mrs. Schwartz told The New York Sun.
The woman clearly loves the park.
As anyone who's ever seen the movie
href="http://www.us.imdb.com/title/tt0074860/">Marathon Man
knows, the Reservoir is a favorite spot for runners in New York.
According to the
href="http://www.centralparktc.org/centpark.htm">Central Park Track
Club, the path around the Reservoir is 1.577 miles. So if you're
starting to drag while running around NYC's own watery oasis, here's a
breakdown of what the new-and-improved view cost the Schwartzes, so
keep your head up:
Posted by Lexiphane at 2:52 PM | | Comments (1) | TrackBack
ONE-YEAR-PLUS ANNIVERSARY TURDUCKEN TRIBUTE
The Black Table
visits the culinary phenomena that is the Turducken, or a chicken
stuffed into a duck stuffed into a turkey. Traditional bread stuffing
is not optional; it must be jammed in there as well.
href="http://bunsen.tv/2002_12_01_bunsen_archive.html#90304959">Bunsen
became preoccupied with this most fowl item a year ago, early
December. He also offered analogues of the Turducken in other mediums:
At a bar, you might lustily imbibe a pitcher of BudTagged:
Light stuffed with a jumbo pint of Sam Adams stuffed with a highball
glass of Ketel One stuffed with a shot of Jagermeister.
Posted by Lexiphane at 2:02 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
ALS IN THE FAMILY
The Today Show
had a feature this morning about a Broadway producer who died this week
of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS). It's a neuro-degenerative
disease that is eventually fatal when respiratory muscles become
paralyzed. The story was supposed to be uplifting because instead of
retreating into her sickness, the woman subject worked with her
sisters, tapped into her celebrity connections, and founded an
organization to further research into the disease so others would not
have to share her fate. Despite some sloppy production that involved
repeating a clip of one sister talking about how much progress they'd
made, it was your standard morning show treacle. Until they got to
this howler: Katie Couric said something about how this woman hoped
that she would make a difference in the fight against ALS by putting a
human face to the disease. Uh, yeah, sorry lady. ALS is already more
commonly known as Lou Gehrig's
Disease. Someone should've rented
href="http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0035211/">Pride of the
Yankees.
Posted by Lexiphane at 1:25 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
TAKE THE TRAIN TO THE PLANE
Today marks the opening of the Port Authority's new
href="http://www.ny1.com/ny/TopStories/SubTopic/index.html?topicintid=1
&subtopicintid=1&contentintid=35711">AirTrain service to and from
JFK airport.
For $5 each way, the AirTrain will carry passengers between JFK and rail terminals in Jamaica and Howard Beach, Queens, bypassing the frequent traffic jams in the area.
More than 34,000 people are expected to use the train every day, many
of them connecting to Manhattan on Long Island Railroad trains to Penn
Station.
Passengers on their way to the airport should know that the AirTrain is
completely automated, i.e. there is no human driver. In fact, a
Bombardier (manufacturer of the AirTrain) employee was killed last year
during a test run when the train took a curve at 55 m.p.h., derailed,
and slammed into a concrete wall.
The New York Press noted this
href="http://www.nypress.com/16/49/news&columns/pagetwo.cfm">story
a few weeks ago:
After the accident, the Port Authority assures us that repairs and improvements have been made, and that new safety guidelines are in place. Still, there have been unconfirmed reports that during another test run within the past two months, the AirTrain began rocking so violently that it actually bounced off a train parked on a parallel set of tracks.For the $2 billion spent, the AirTrain actually does little to get people from JFK into Manhattan. Moving people from JFK to rail terminals in Howard Beach and Jamaica, Queens is a little like saying moving from the kitchen to the dining room. A trip to Manhattan would be about 6-8 times the distance and involve crossing the East River. Gov. Pataki says he'd like to do this with money left over from 9/11 relief funds. That's a lot of leftovers! Plus, there's already rail service between Howard Beach and Manhattan. It's called the A train, and it connects to JFK via 24-hour shuttle bus service. Hum a little Duke Ellington while you're on it.
In actuality, a transit hub in Jamaica would make for a marginally faster trip for those who could take the F train or LIRR into Manhattan. The AirTrain and Jamaica hub are really a boon for those living on Long Island. From Jamaica they can take the LIRR to almost all points east. For those in upstate New York, little convience will be realized by the $2 billion project as Metro North trains stop at Grand Central and passengers would have to travel down and across town to Penn Station to get on the LIRR.
Travellers looking to get out of Manhattan and to an airport quickly should instead look to the west and Newark Airport in New Jersey. NJ Transit runs a line from Penn Station to Newark, where one can take a monorail directly to the airport. Travelers can go from midtown Manhattan to their assigned terminal at the airport in under half an hour. Tagged:
Posted by Lexiphane at 12:59 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 16, 2003
FIRE SALE AT THE GAP
On my way out of work this evening I caught a few pictures of the FDNY
doing a little
href="http://www.lexiphane.com/lex/modules.php?set_albumName=album03&id
=img_0259&op=modload&name=gallery&file=index&include=view_photo.php">Ch
ristmas shopping at the GAP. Actually, there were
href="http://www.lexiphane.com/lex/modules.php?set_albumName=album03&id
=img_0260&op=modload&name=gallery&file=index&include=view_photo.php">en
ough of them there at the same time that they might have been on
the job.
Posted by Lexiphane at 8:19 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
THE WEATHER OUTSIDE WAS FRIGHTFUL
The snowstorm Sunday was great to see, leaving a
href="http://www.lexiphane.com/lex/modules.php?set_albumName=album03&id
=IMG_0228&op=modload&name=gallery&file=index&include=view_photo.php">so
lid dusting that lasted until the rain washed it away that evening.
Earlier in the weekend, some sought to stay warm by
href="http://www.lexiphane.com/lex/modules.php?set_albumName=album03&id
=IMG_0227&op=modload&name=gallery&file=index&include=view_photo.php">ro
asting marshmallows in front of a fireplace. Perhaps fearing the
bear hunt that's been going on all week in New Jersey,
href="http://www.lexiphane.com/lex/modules.php?set_albumName=album03&id
=IMG_0211&op=modload&name=gallery&file=index&include=view_photo.php">ho
liday bears have taken up residence on 2nd Ave. in Yorkville. The
Sunday evening rains were not enough to deter a friend's
href="http://www.lexiphane.com/lex/modules.php?set_albumName=album04&id
=IMG_0244&op=modload&name=gallery&file=index&include=view_photo.php">bi
rthday party from proceeding with reckless abandon.
Posted by Lexiphane at 2:28 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 15, 2003
BAD IDEA
The New York Times addresses
href="http://www.nytimes.com/2003/12/15/technology/15neco.html?8hpib">c
omputer voting systems today and I continue to think these are a
bad idea. Consider the trouble many seniors in Florida had with
punchcards during the 2000 election. And now we want to put
these same people in front of a computer to vote? Have you ever stood
in a check-out line at a grocery store behind someone over the age of
65 attempting to use a debit or credit card to pay for their items?
It's a relatively simple procedure: swipe, PIN, debit/credit, YES/NO,
and you're done. Still, many people are as likely to hack into
computers at the NSA as they are accomplishing this on the first try,
or second, or third.
Posted by Lexiphane at 3:28 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
BAD DANCERS CAN KILL
Here's the feel-bad story of the day. A woman dancing at a holiday
party in a Manhattan apartment lost her balance and fell. Normally
this would be pretty funny and fodder for America's Funniest Home
Videos. Unfortunately, she fell onto a baby seated on the floor
and crushed it
to death. See what I mean about feel-bad? No charges are being
filed against the hapless terpsichorean tumbler.
Posted by Lexiphane at 3:17 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
SADDAM IN SHORT
Just a short item on what I think should happen (and not happen) to the
captured dictator. Trial before an international tribunal? Absolutely
not. They'd wind up sticking him in a jail somewhere and he'd become a
symbol of resistance in exile to nutjobs all over the world. We need
to let him stand before the Iraqi people and account for the murder of
hundreds of thousands of his countrymen. I think this would be
extremely empowering to the Iraqis. And if they wanted to hang Saddam
in the middle of Baghdad before cheering crowds, I say let them. If
anything, this will really piss off the French and Germans.
Posted by Lexiphane at 10:10 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 12, 2003
DIS-ASTRO-OUS
Yankee fans are up in arms that Steinbrenner let popular and highly
successful player Andy Pettite out of the Bronx in a move to Texas.
The New York Post devotes both its
href="http://www.nypost.com">front cover and back page to the story
with twin headlines, DISASTRO and KICK IN THE ASTRO. You
can hardly fault the boss though. Steinbrenner offered more money than
the Astros. Even the Red Sox outbid both the Astros and the Yankees,
the ace pitcher still went to Texas. In the end, Pettite just wanted
to take a paycut so he could go home and spend more time with his kids.
He won four World Series in New York, so it's not like he has a lot to
accomplish. And for Yanks diehards that howl too loudly about the pain
of losing a career-long and popular player to another team: this is
what the Yankees do to other teams every single year.
Posted by Lexiphane at 4:28 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
THE WRIGHT STUFF
The Smithsonian Institute
opens its new Aviation Museum--adjunct to
the Air & Space Museum--just in time for the 100th anniversary of
Orville and Wilbur Wright's first successful flight at Kittyhawk, North
Carolina. As noted in The Wall Street Journal today, the
Smithsonian played a
href="http://www.opinionjournal.com/taste/?id=110004419">shameful
role for years in a plot to cheat the Wright brothers from their
claim of first in flight.
The Smithsonian's centennial Web presentation doesn't
mention scheming with Curtiss, denying the Wright Brothers' pre-
eminence or favoring Langley. Rather, seeming to maintain an
institutional grudge, it portrays Curtiss as an innocent "target" of
the Wrights' "litigiousness." If only the Aerodrome's propellers had
that kind of spin.
All institutions attempt to whitewash their pasts to some extent. But
the institute dedicated to preserving our country's history? Tagged:
Posted by Lexiphane at 1:59 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
NOT IF YOU CAN'T GET THERE
"We will continue to blow up our men in the
depths of the Zionist entity (Israel)," organizers said through
loudspeakers.
That's from a rally for href="http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=578&e=3&u=/nm/200
31212/ts_nm/mideast_dc">people protesting the protective wall being
constructed to prevent terrorists from entering Israel. Suicide
bombers killed hundreds of people while others attempted to navigate a
"road map" to peace. Finally, the plan was called dead on arrival and
abandoned. Since Israel has aggressively targeted terrorist leaders
and cells and furthered construction of its protective wall, suicide
bombing has come to a halt in the country. There's the reality of
living in peace without suicide bombers and then there's the dread of
living in constant fear while continuing a fantasy peace "process" of
negotiating with terrorists. Sounds like a no-brainer to me. Tagged:
Posted by Lexiphane at 9:10 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 10, 2003
NO SWEEP 'TIL BROOKLYN
The New Jersey Nets, who along with the Devils have distracted New
Yorkers from the pitiful state of their own professional sports teams,
are planning a
move to Brooklyn. Whether Manhattanites will find an interborough
trip to Brooklyn any less onerous than a trip to Jersey remains to be
seen. If the Nets do make the move, it can be assumed that they will
almost immediately begin sucking.
Posted by Lexiphane at 9:25 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 9, 2003
THE SUBURBIFICATION OF DOWNTOWN
If you've been wondering what will fill the gigantic hole that
is currently occupying the corner of Chrystie and Houston Streets, a
block from the Landmark Sunshine Cinema, check
href="http://www.chrystieplace.com/home.html">this out. It's the
Avalon Chrystie Place. To say this oversized monstrosity will be
architecturally out of place and on a scale completely anomalous to the
rest of the neighborhood would be an understatement. I'm all for
outsized and overreaching building efforts, but have we gone from
monuments like
href="http://www.aviewoncities.com/building/dakotaapartments.htm">The
Dakota and The San
Remo to this banality of strip-mall modernism? The olympic size
swimming pool and roof deck sound nice, but can't we do better than
this?
Posted by Lexiphane at 4:14 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
INSTA-CAMERA
The Instapundit discusses the
href="http://www.instapundit.com/archives/012939.php">relative
merits of different digital cameras today. I recently received a
Canon SD100 3.2 megapixel model whose only
shortcoming is the skill of the photographer using it. It does take
one of the proprietary batteries the Instapundit disses in his
discussion, but that hasn't been a limitation until, coincidentally,
today. That's my bad for not diligently charging it though.
Posted by Lexiphane at 2:17 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
OH, THE HUMANE-ITY!
Critics of a week-long hunt to cut down on the population of black
bears in New Jersey have proposed a reputedly more humane alternative,
jabbing male bears in the testicles
href="http://slate.msn.com/id/2092189/">with a needle. Why do I
suspect a woman came up with this plan? Is it because the idea of it
conjures inviting thoughts of a hunter putting a bullet in the
ol' noggin from a hundred yards away? Good luck getting volunteers for
this solution, too. Would Teddy Roosevelt have been game for poking
bears in the nads with a hypo? Doubtful. Oh yeah, there's little
evidence that such nut jabbing would even be effective as a
contraceptive. Note to activists from male black bears in NJ: find
out. Also: prepare to be horribly mauled.
Posted by Lexiphane at 12:48 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
OOPS!
Despite a legacy of mass murder that makes the Nazi-run
Holocaust against the Jews look like hand slapping, some people still
are still fond of the days when Communists ran Eastern Europe.
Especially if they were privileged athletic shills for the dictatorship
of the proletariat.
Nostalgia for the former East, known as Ostalgie, has been highlighted in popular films such as Goodbye Lenin and celebrated in a welter of largely uncritical television shows. Mrs Riemann appeared on one such programme, The East Germany Show, fronted by Katarina Witt, the former East German ice-skating champion at the Olympics. Her unexpected account of dreadful suffering left the chat-show hosts severely embarrassed, conflicting as it did with the sentimental retrospective envisaged by the programme's makers. After her appearance, viewers who bought her book helped push it on to the bestseller lists.Why was Witt embarrassed by Reimann's tales? Because instead of engaging in warm reminiscence of her years in East Germany, she told of how she was repeatedly raped and tortured over eight years in prison for poking fun at a portrait of Stalin when she was 14 years old. Tagged:
Posted by Lexiphane at 10:34 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
NAMING NAMES
Mark Steyn eulogizes director Elia Kazan in this month's
Atlantic Monthly. Certain shitheel actors and actresses
pointedly refused to applaud when Kazan won a lifetime achievement
award at the Academy Awards in 1999. Some are still uncomfortable with
the fact that Kazan identified Communists when questioned before the
House Un-American Activities Committee in the 1950s. Not that being a
Communist was illegal at the time. Something to be ashamed of,
certainly, but being publicly shamed seems like a small price to pay
for one's political convictions. Unless one actually lived in a
Communist country, in which case one could expect to be murdered for
one's beliefs--or for less.
But the arts have little time for anti-Communists, especially
premature anti-Communists, especially as premature as Kazan: he quit
the party in 1936, after he'd refused to help it turn the Group Theater
into an actors' collective. Until then he was a conventional lefty,
the stellar left of the Group's Waiting for Lefty, the one who
ends the play by roaring the one-word injunction "Strike!" But if we
were to frame Kazan's testimony to HUAC in terms of personal loyalty,
what about his responsibility to, say, Vsevolod Meyerhold? When Kazan
joined the Group, straight out of Yale, the company looked to the
Russians for inspiriation--not just to Stanislavsky but also to his
wayward disciple, Meyerhold. The latter was a great mentor to the
young Kazan and other Group members. This was a period, remember, when
the Group frequently visited Russia: Lefty, for example, was
staged in Moscow. Meyerhold loved the older stylized forms--commedia
dell'arte, pantomime--and refused to confine himself to Socialist
Realism. So Stalin had him arrested and executed.
Think about that: murdered over a difference of opinion about a
directing style. As "persecution" goes, that's a little more thorough
than forcing some screenwriter to work on a schlock network variety
show under an assumed name.
That's what Kazan was naming names for. He was intimately
familiar with the personal evil of Communism and its true cost.
Artists that were embarrassed to be associated with such a system were
nothing more than cowards that deserved far worse than they ever
received from a free country. An inability to distinguish between the
artistic freedom of true liberalism and the murderous nature of
Communism is what has led many on the political left down the
historical blind alley they find themselves in today.
Posted by Lexiphane at 10:17 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 8, 2003
TNR ON GAY MARRIAGE
One of the basic points of contention in the debate here over gay
marriage two weeks ago was one participant's argument that nowhere in
the Constitution were gays guaranteed the right to marry, so to deny
them such was little to no injustice. The New Republic treads
much of the
href="https://ssl.tnr.com/p/docsub.mhtml?i=20031201&s=editorial120103">
same ground [via subscription] in the December 1 & 8, 2003 issue,
largely agreeing with me, that a denial is a violation of equal
protection under the law. Here's a money quote:
Moreover, the court also acknowledged, in the words of
Justice Earl Warren, that "the freedom to marry has long been
recognized as one of the vital rights essential to the orderly pursuit
of happiness by free men." It is guaranteed under the Constitution to
aliens and deadbeat dads, to people of every religion and none. Even
when citizens can be denied the right to vote--as convicted felons in
many states are--they are still guaranteeed the right to marry.
Excluding gay citizens is therefore an astonishing denial of a basic
civil right.
That would seem to be a direct repudiation of Anonymous' assertion that
a right to marry has not been established by Constitutional precedent. Tagged:
Posted by Lexiphane at 1:43 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
AMERICAN GUERNICA
Something tells me that if Thomas Hart Benton produced his anti-fascist
series
href="http://www.nytimes.com/2003/12/08/arts/design/08BENT.html?8hpib">
"Year of Peril" today instead of the weeks following the Pearl
Harbor attack in 1941, it would be him that was labeled a
fascist. Truth in art became a casualty of the left years ago.
Posted by Lexiphane at 12:40 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
SHAMUS CENTRAL
The New York Times reports on the
href="http://www.nytimes.com/2003/12/08/business/media/08eye.html?8dpc"
>preponderance of gumshoes in the city of angels. This is a
favorite topic of mine. Sam Spade surveiled San Francisco, but Phil
Marlowe was straight out of LA in
href="http://www.us.imdb.com/title/tt0038355/">The Big Sleep,
as was Edward G. Robinson an insurance investigator in
href="http://www.us.imdb.com/title/tt0036775/">Double
Indemnity. For the downside of being a P.I. and the
accompanying extreme paranoia, see Gene Hackman in
href="http://www.us.imdb.com/title/tt0071360/">The
Conversation.
UPDATE: I'm fully aware that The Conversation took place
in San Francisco, not LA, just to pre-empt any carpers.
Posted by Lexiphane at 11:35 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
GOOD DEED ALERT
Who carries around three grand in hundreds? Well,
href="http://www.jsonline.com/news/metro/dec03/190382.asp">this woman
did, and when they blew all over a parking lot in Wisconsin, she
got most of it back. Sounds implausible, but the woman that cuts my
hair found a wallet with $1,500 in it in the post office a couple weeks
ago and she turned it in.
Posted by Lexiphane at 9:35 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 5, 2003
PAGING TOM FONTANA
Jonathan Luna, a federal prosecutor in Baltimore, Maryland,
didn't show up for the fourth day of a drug prosecution case he was
trying. Yesterday, he was found behind a well drilling company office,
face down in standing water and dead from stab wounds. It's unclear
whether his murder was connected to his work as a federal
prosecutor. It is clear that this will be the subject of a
Law & Order-type program in short order.
Posted by Lexiphane at 9:27 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 4, 2003
BAH HUMBUG!
In Virginia, it is now illegal for those living in
condos or apartments without sprinkler systems to have a cut Christmas
tree, forcing thousands to either go artificial or forgo a tree
altogether this year. Unsurprisingly, lawmakers are catching some heat
on this one. [Story via
href="http://www.instapundit.com/archives/012867.php">Instapundit
via
href="http://oxblog.blogspot.com/2003_11_30_oxblog_archive.html#1070529
08412819543">Oxblog.]
Posted by Lexiphane at 2:36 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
CHRISTMAS MUSIC
If you're the sort that likes to have a little music to get you
into the holiday spirit, here are a few suggestions for albums that
I've enjoyed listening to for years.
A Charlie Brown Christmas
The sine qua non of holiday albums. Vince Guaraldi's jazzy
piano-dominated soundtrack to the television special that's been aired
annually for decades is priceless.
href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0000024RK/qid=1070562933/
sr=2-1/ref=sr_2_1/002-8523699-1300837">We Wish You a Merry
Christmas -- Ray Conniff and the Ray Conniff singers
It's the 60s baby, yeah! And the 60s before JFK's assassination,
Vietnam, and dirty hippies ruined everything. So let's have a cocktail
party and sing some carols. "Come on everybody, it's time to decorate
the Christmas tree!"
href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0000029DL/qid=1070563235/
sr=2-2/ref=sr_2_2/002-8523699-1300837">When My Heart Finds
Christmas -- Harry Connick Jr.
Filled with holiday standards, original songs, and possibly the most
fun version of "Sleigh Ride" ever, Harry Connick Jr. does Christmas
N'Awlins style.
James Brown's Funky Christmas
The cover art alone on this album, with a grinning Brown in a Santa hat
encircled in a wreath, will put your in the holiday mood. A funky
holiday mood. Best song title: "Santa Claus Go Straight to the
Ghetto". Tell 'em James Brown sent you.
href="http://www.starbucks.com/hearmusic/product.asp?category%5Fname=Ou
r+Compilations&product%5Fid=6211161160">Ornamental
Holiday
Originally a compilation offered only at Starbucks, it's an album that
will eventually be a classic. It's a collection of current stars, like
Aimee Mann and Diana Krall, and evergreen favorites, like Ella
Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday, Frank Sinatra, and Dean Martin. Madonna's
more-recent version of "Santa Baby" cannot hold a candle to Eartha
Kitt's original purring rendition. Where else are you going to find
David Bowie dueting with Bing Crosby on "Peace on Earth/Little Drummer
Boy?"
Posted by Lexiphane at 2:12 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
CALL THE ACLU!
If last night's episode of
href="http://www.nbc.com/The_West_Wing/index.html">The West
Wing was any indication, our government has been completely
infiltrated by theocratic fanatics. Throughout the show, the fictional
Bartlett White House was decked to the hilt in Christmas decorations,
carolers prowled the corridors, and a Christmas tree was firmly planted
on the executive mansion's south lawn. I don't know if such rampant
celebrating of an overtly Christian holiday goes on in the Bush White
House, but if so, someone needs to call the ACLU stat for a quick dose
of secularization.
Posted by Lexiphane at 1:15 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
BUSH LIES, TURKEY DRIES
The Washington Post embarrasses itself today with a story [via
The Drudge Report] that
uncovers--gasp!--that the turkey President Bush was pictured holding
during his Thanksgiving trip to Iraq was not eaten, but merely a
href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn/A33090-
2003Dec3?language=printer">decorative centerpiece. Impeach the
weasly bastard! I find it hard to believe that reporter Mike Allen
could even write the following with a straight face:
Nevertheless, the foray has opened new credibility
questions for a White House that has dealt with issues as small as who
placed the "Mission Accomplished" banner aboard the aircraft carrier
Bush used to proclaim the end of major combat operations in Iraq, and
as major as assertions about Saddam Hussein's arsenal of unconventional
weapons and his ability to threaten the United States.
Just to clarify, he is talking about a fake turkey in the above
paragraph. I think Bush should be encouraged that this is how far
critics have to go to fault him for something. To the Post's
credit, they did bury this turkey of a story on page A33. Tagged:
Posted by Lexiphane at 10:47 AM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 3, 2003
QUEER EYE FOR THE UES GUY
To much e-mailed hilarity, several friends of mine from college have
been discussing the fact that our friend Ross will be the subject of
next week's Queer Eye for the Straight Guy show on Bravo. If
you haven't seen an epidsode before, the premise is a posse of gay men
overhaul some hapless schlub's wardrobe, apartment, grooming, and
personal behavior in an effort to make him a better person. It's an
amusing show, although it does reinforce the stereotype of gays as
catty overbearing queens. Tune in next Tuesday at 10 p.m. EST to see
what happens to a
href="http://www.bravotv.com/Queer_Eye_for_the_Straight_Guy/Episodes/11
4/">Georgetown ROTC Marine as he is manhandled (literally) on air.
Posted by Lexiphane at 8:07 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 2, 2003
ERIN GO BRA-LESS
When Julia Roberts won the Best Actress Oscar in 2000 for her title
role in Stev